i'm growing

Dear Blogger,

Gw bner" butuh tempat curhat, n kayak na ini satu-satu na cara...
Emnk dlm beberapa hari ini gw lg banyak masalah, mood gw uda mulai balik..

Tapi hri ni gw bru sadar
Gw bru ngerti
How much it hurt, when your friend lie to you
I feel really defeated
I'm scared, because after all of this time
We're not really friend...
We're more like FRIENEMIES..

I just wanna stop right now, i wanna stop lying..
I wanna be honest n especially to my self..

Jadi temen gw ada yg secara nga langsung nyadarin gw...
Gw merasa d tipu sama dy, walaupun gw nga tw dy bohong sama gw pa nga..
Tapi rasa na sakit bgt...

Dy bil dy ke mangdu, tp kyk na dede na pergi vto, d tmpt gw voto cal..
Gw bner" kesel.., bener" kesel..
Jadi makin banyak bad thought gw tntang dy..
Walaupun, sbner na gw nga tw dy bener'an bohong apa nga...


Brapa minggu ini, gw kesel mulu.m
Gw ngerasa d bebani..
Terlalu banyak pikiran..
GOD I can't take it anymore... Please, help me ! Would You ?
Knp masalah datang na bertubi"..
Bahkan masala gossip yg bil hri ni mau kiamat..
Oke d mulut gw bil gw nga percaya..
Tp gw tkt bgt... Gw sbner na concern..
Blum lg masalah cowo...

Akhir na hri ni, detik ini gw sadar..
Masala bkn ngejar-ngejar gw..
Masala itu dtng dri gw sndiri...
Sbner na gw ska, klo banyak yg ska ma gw..
I love all of the attention..
I love all of the caring and loving..
The more people like me, the more i enjoy it..
Tp gw ska ngelak, iya emnk kdng risih, tp sesaat doank..
Kadang karna gw sndiri mls..
Gw terlalu egois, anggep remeh smua org...

N masala" gw d bohongin tmn ?
Kyk na gw terlalu berprasangka buruk..
Sejujur na gw nga ska klo ada tmn gw yg voto d situ..
Gw tkt hasil na lebih bgs..
Gw tkt kalah..

Gw ska jealous...
Gw tkt org ngo'in gw
Gw tkt d salahin
Gw emank egois
Gw emank kurang ajar..

Tapi gw bener" tertekan, i expect more from my self
I don't like when people is better than me...

Tapi se'engga na gw blajar bahwa 15 thn ini, gw banyak ngelaku'in kesalahan..
N mulai dari skarang gw mw blajar, be my self, jd lebih baik..
Mom, Dad, see ? You Daughter is growing..
I'm improving my self..

I used to beg to GOD
From now onwards, i would just keep saying Thanks to HIM !!!