blogging harian

Dear Blogger,

Beberapa minggu belakangan ini, gw ska blogging, karna cmn lewat blogging gw msa berekspresi, curhat n just be my self.. Revealed my self.. Being honest to my self, about what i really feel..

Cuman uda beberapa hari ini, blog gw sangat susah untuk d bka melalui  ... I don't know, sometime they say the server were busy (damn it's impossible, i only have 9 follower and non of them even open my blog) and just know i have to verified my blog ?? What the ?? Did anyone try to hack my blog ?? Hell no.. I hope no.. Ngapain jg mw d hack ?? Follower 9 doank..

2 hari yg lalu gw nga blogging karna ........... (Gw lupa,hahahaha) ooo iya, hr senen kemaren gw ke itc.. Bil na sich mw cari baju bali, tp nyokap gw nga bisa d lawan, shopping terus.. Tiap kli mw beli baju/celana dy slalu ngo, "kita nga ada kan de ?" What the.. Sumpah gw kesel.. Badan gw lebih gede dri pada lu.. Gw bahkan nga muat.. Jadi bete... Seakan" kita bsa sharing, jd gw hrs nntn'in dy blanja.... Trus ntah knp mlm na gw nntn go go girls... Jijik sumpah... Nga nga nga kuat, sama playboy... Euwwww... Hoeeekkksss, i still don't believe it... Tp ada bener nya jg sich... Playboy, nga kuat boooo hahaha

Dan kmaren hrs na ambil rapot o'level, tp karna pada bil blum ready jd gw nga ke skull... Awal bil kmaren, jam nga d kasi tw.. Yg uda pd dtng d bil bsk... Tba" jam 12 uda bsa d ambil... Aneh bin ajaib... Owwh iya kmaren gw ngedit photo bwt portfolio.. Bgs bgt... Nga sabar mw cetak... Trus kmaren ke m2s breng angel cmn jln" makan waffle a&w, beli cd banyak.. Jd mls kmn"... Mlm na gw tba" ngerasa gw gendut bgt... Jadi smlm gw olahraga mw kecilin betis n paha.. Astaga cape na ampe tepar...

N tadi pg ke skull bwt ambil rapot o'level.. Tapi gara" nyokap lupa bayar school fee june, rapot na nga mau d kasi... TRIAS bner" krang ajar BABI tuh org... Sumpah kesel... Kasia aja sich rapot na, gw enk lu nga repot... Kayak gw nga bakal bayar school fee aja.. N yg lebi nyebelinnya lg dy tlp ke hum cmn bil suru bayar school feem. Sumpah najis bgt... Kayak apa aja gw... Emnk na gw nga bakal bayar apa... TRIAS BABI yg kmaren dtng rapot d kasi" aja, padahal ada yg blum bayar school fee jg... Sumpah gw bner" keki ma TRIAS... Tp hri ni gw bkin cupcake, n untuk pertama kali, jadi n bgs bgt... Sumpaha gw seneng bgt..ntar klo dah abis mw bkin lg ah...tapi sumpah cape bgt... 3 jam bru slesai uda plus garnish jg sich... Hahahaha uda dlu yah ngantuk...

i'm growing

Dear Blogger,

Gw bner" butuh tempat curhat, n kayak na ini satu-satu na cara...
Emnk dlm beberapa hari ini gw lg banyak masalah, mood gw uda mulai balik..

Tapi hri ni gw bru sadar
Gw bru ngerti
How much it hurt, when your friend lie to you
I feel really defeated
I'm scared, because after all of this time
We're not really friend...
We're more like FRIENEMIES..

I just wanna stop right now, i wanna stop lying..
I wanna be honest n especially to my self..

Jadi temen gw ada yg secara nga langsung nyadarin gw...
Gw merasa d tipu sama dy, walaupun gw nga tw dy bohong sama gw pa nga..
Tapi rasa na sakit bgt...

Dy bil dy ke mangdu, tp kyk na dede na pergi vto, d tmpt gw voto cal..
Gw bner" kesel.., bener" kesel..
Jadi makin banyak bad thought gw tntang dy..
Walaupun, sbner na gw nga tw dy bener'an bohong apa nga...


Brapa minggu ini, gw kesel mulu.m
Gw ngerasa d bebani..
Terlalu banyak pikiran..
GOD I can't take it anymore... Please, help me ! Would You ?
Knp masalah datang na bertubi"..
Bahkan masala gossip yg bil hri ni mau kiamat..
Oke d mulut gw bil gw nga percaya..
Tp gw tkt bgt... Gw sbner na concern..
Blum lg masalah cowo...

Akhir na hri ni, detik ini gw sadar..
Masala bkn ngejar-ngejar gw..
Masala itu dtng dri gw sndiri...
Sbner na gw ska, klo banyak yg ska ma gw..
I love all of the attention..
I love all of the caring and loving..
The more people like me, the more i enjoy it..
Tp gw ska ngelak, iya emnk kdng risih, tp sesaat doank..
Kadang karna gw sndiri mls..
Gw terlalu egois, anggep remeh smua org...

N masala" gw d bohongin tmn ?
Kyk na gw terlalu berprasangka buruk..
Sejujur na gw nga ska klo ada tmn gw yg voto d situ..
Gw tkt hasil na lebih bgs..
Gw tkt kalah..

Gw ska jealous...
Gw tkt org ngo'in gw
Gw tkt d salahin
Gw emank egois
Gw emank kurang ajar..

Tapi gw bener" tertekan, i expect more from my self
I don't like when people is better than me...

Tapi se'engga na gw blajar bahwa 15 thn ini, gw banyak ngelaku'in kesalahan..
N mulai dari skarang gw mw blajar, be my self, jd lebih baik..
Mom, Dad, see ? You Daughter is growing..
I'm improving my self..

I used to beg to GOD
From now onwards, i would just keep saying Thanks to HIM !!!

untitled

Dear Blogger,

Pasti pada bertanya", knp kok judul na untitled.. Well because gw nga mw kasi judul apa, selain itu jg males.. Jadi abis baca, bkin kesimpulan sendiri aja, kasi judul sendiri..

Hr ni nothing special.. Cmn gw bgn pagi bwt kumpul rapot O'level.. Bkin repot aja, udah liburan bru d suru kumpul skarang... Bner" kurang kerjaan.. Nga sih sbner na gw cmn pura" lupa kumpul rapot, gw pikir nga d tagih yah nga usah di kumpul.. Toh blum d ttd jg.. (Gw blum kasi liat bonyok, nilai na ancur abis).. Alhasil gw pagi" ke skull kumpul rapot... Sengaja dtng pagi" karna mls ketemu guru".. Pasti jd ribet persoalan nya.. Ckckckck autis abis dah gw...


Trus pulang deh tuh.. Sarapan nasi uduk, trus rada siangan pergi cari baju bali bwt, graduation... Daerah roxy, alamat na yg kasi temen nyokap yg super duper ribet, awal na gw uda nga percaya, tapi karna emnk butuh, akhir na pergi lah.. Feeling gw bner aja..m alamat na nga pasti.. Udah jauh" macet, panas.. Nga dpt apa" gila... Ujung" na dpt bju bali dket rumah sendiri.. Swt bgt nga sich.. Alamat 5 mnt dri rumah.. -______- bner" kacau...


Ngomong" hri ni gw kok banyak nntn film masak ibu yah... Kuliner semua.. Ada kali 6-7 acaram. Ckckck suram liburan gw... Hahahah tp emnk libur nga ada tandingan na.. Makan,nonton, tdrn jln" feel like in heaven.... Uda kayak babi...

Kadang gw kebiasaan bsa mikir hal" aneh, yg uda lewat... Td lg kutak-kutik hp.. Trus ada yg update status tntang sayang" cinta.. Jadi inget koko gw.. Dy klo d tanya, lu suka noh cewe yah ? Dy bil nga, gw nga suka, gw sayang.. So sweet... Dah gt gombal bgt lg dia.. Tp ttp aja nga dpt".. Hahah jomblongenes.. Wkakakaka.. LOL, ngo" soal koko, td pg pas lg uring"an d kamar nyokapbgw d ganggu'in dy.. Padahal gw nga salah apa"... Gw d cubit sakit na minta ampun sampe gw nangis... Hahahahaha...

Udah dlu ah.. Mw ke bawah. Bosen d kamar..., abis dri td mw bka blog susah bgt.. Page busy, bla bla bla.. Najis... Jd nga gt niat. Hahahah

i hate us being enemies !!!

Dear Blogger,

Once i have a best friend
A very good friend of mine
Indeed, she's the best !!!
She's there when i need her
And so did I
A big sister..
I always thought she was my sister
But this lately
I don't know what happen
We got into a stupid fight
She keep avoiding me
And i feel that she change
Change a lot in personality

I hate us being enemies !!!
Could we switch back time
Wishing that we could always be
Best Friend that we used to be

Wanna us to be the way we use to be..

Today, i read you bbm status, i feel bad that you're crying
At first, i felt happy, but in the end.. You still are my best friend
No matter how you change, no matter how much i hate you, no matter how much you hate me..
We still are best friend..

I read your tweet, i feel so bad, that i can't cheer you up..
What if i did, would you consider me ??
I hate to see my friend heart broke..
You seems a little ego, he's not your boy friend..
But i know how much it hurts, even you don't admit it..

I wanna cheer you up, wanna hold you tight, wanna wipe your tears and say that everything will be alright.. Made your spirit up.. And told you, he's not the only guy, GOD, what could do ?? I can't.. I'm even jealous with those girl that cheer her up...

No matter how much i try to hate you, i just hate us being enemies..
I know that you wouldn't read this.. But i'm really sorry, i feel bad.. Hope you understand..

tommorow will be a brighter day !

Dear Blogger,

I'm really happy today.. Atleast uda nga mikirin cowo kurang ajar itu..

Kemaren mlm sentrum d grj, awal na main volley, astaga diem gw... Nga bisa sama skali, serve masuk skali karna bola na gw anggep cowo babi kurang ajar itu.. Pelampiasan..
Encong pembawa keberuntungan, 2 kali main 2 kali menang.. Hahaha
Trus maleman dikit main futsal.. Ini mending.. Seru, gokil.. Cape mau meninggal..


Tw nga masa sich cowo kurang ajar itu dtng, tp lewat doank.. Cemen.. Sok gaya"an.. Naik motor.. Ngebut" najis..
N untuk si ____ uda byasa aja sich.. Tp gw nga brani ngeliat dy, dy jg mw nyebut atau ngo ke gw, liat jg rada nga enk.. Kayak na uda bener" sakit ati.. Abis gmn.. Gw hrs gmn ?? Gw klo d dket'in cowo risih..


Udalah kemaren dah lewat.. Hri ni gw ke salon.. Trus jalan" ke ancol sama sodara.. Awal na kecewa, mau ke pasar seni tp nga ada yg bagus.. Liat lukisan, dll pingin punya workshop di situ.. Walaupun sepi.. Tapi pasti enk.. Stiap hari bkin karya seni.. Santai" denger lagu.. Next, Trus akhir na nongkrong di starbuck.. Trus ke la bridge.. Udara na, pemandangannya.. Bener" TOP BGT !!! Adem.. Bagus bgt.. Iya nga ada apa".. Tapi sejuk hati.. Rasa na seneng.. Tentram.. Enk bgt.. Trakhir makan d bandar djakarta.. Makanan na biasa aja, cmn makan nasi pke ikan kerang n kangkung + minum kelapa muda dri batok.. Tapi pemandangan laut malem.. Pke lampu" trus ada musik" liat kapal"... Bagus bgt !!! Rasa nya bru sadar.. Indonesia tuh cantik bgt... Pemandangan oke, kekayaan alam oke, budaya nga usah d bil.. Org" na ramah pula.. Mall bgs".. Cmn kurang d rawat aja...

Tapi sayang bgt remaja skarang nga mw ke ancol, museum", tmii, padahal bgs bgt... Hri ni seneng bgt.. Bisa relax.. Walaupun bsk hrs kumpul rapot O'level --"... But tommorow will be a brighter day.. Ada gossip bsk kiamat.. Hahah gw sich ketawa" aja.. Tuhan yg ngatur.. Mau manusia ngo apa, klo Tuhan ngo lain.. Inti na GOD IS THE BEST NOW, FOREVER and ALWAYS ♥ thx GOD, Muachhhhhh :*

NGA ABiS PIKIR !

Dear Blogger,

Gmn rasanya di hianatin ???

*not about romance*

Uda 2 kali gw kecewa, and it's all because of photography !!

Pertama sama best friend gw gitu.. Yang skarang tingkah na kayak sok dewasa, sok kepede'an nga jelas..

Kedua, skarang jadi ada 1 tmn gw.. Cewe, tmn biasa, tp dy kyk tba" angkat gw jd ade angkat dy --" gajelas.. Ya udalah yah, gw jg nga mau cari ribut jg kan...
Nah dy itu modern dancer skaligus ballerina, dan gw emank uda mlai tergila" dgn photography, jadi setiap ada model, yah gw voto...

Eh, nama na tingkah manusia, smakin menjadi"..
Entah emank gw moto na bgs, atau pada kege'eran.. Astaga naga...

Dy nge bohongin gw...
Voto ballerina chanel couture d jadi'in dp, n dy ngaku" itu dy... Dgn harapan gw moto dy...
Dy bil uda lupa voto itu dmn, uda lama, trus baju na punya sanggar n nga bsa d pinjem.. Wth. Klo bkn lu, yah nga usah ngaku" kali.. Bkin kekei.. Klo emnk mw voto, yah bil... Astagam.. Kesel stengah mampus gw...


Now, what should i do ???

THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU REGRET IT !!!!

Dear Blogger,

Gara" uda libur jadi sempet nulis mulu nih... Asyik...
Gw punya beberapa tips bwt para wanita"..
Segala keputusan pasti ada konsekuensi nya, berpikir lah matang" karena penyesalan selalu datang belakangan... Ingat baik" yah...

Cinta itu BUTA !!!
Buat para wanita", jangan pikir yang nama nya pacaran itu selalu enak...
Cinta itu BUTA !!!
Awalnya aja enak...

Oke jadi sebener nya gw kapok, bisa d bilang trauma...
Sampe sekarang pun gw masi nga abis pikir.. Kenapa gw bisa suka sama tuh cowok biadab

Bae kagak
Ganteng kagak
Kurang ajar iya
Nyebelin iya
Playboy iya
Inti na nga banget deh...
Kampungan abis..

Astaga astaga astaga astaga naga raya....
Amit" gw... Kok gw bego bgt dlu bsa suka sama dy

Bayang'in pas masi jadian (euw) tuh babi ganti nomor nga bilang"..
Asli tuh org bokep, smoke, euw bgt...

Jadi sebener na dlu itu gw slalu iri ngeliat org pacaran...
Nah gara" itu, gw jd gampang ska ma org.. Jadi skali d tembak gw lngsng trima... ( Bodoh nya diri gw) tmn" gw pd bil sayang bgt org klo org kayak gw dpt org kayak si babi... Amit" euww...

Gw rasa skarang ni babi puas bgt, karna skarang hidup dalam bayang" si babi mlu..., bkn karna gw masi ska... Amit" tapi nih babi kurang ajar, bkin gw takut sama yang nama na cinta... Karna lebih enk single dari pada jadian nga jelas, PDKT itu lebih enak... Skarang gw bner" risih klo ada cowo yg ska ma gw...

Oke gw jujur, gw org na gengsian, gw nga ska karna dy kurang oke menurut gw... Jadi klo ada cewe yang bil tampang nga penting.. Bullshit... Emank bae itu penting... Tapi skarang lu nga bsa segampang itu ngo tampang nga penting... Bae doang nga cukup... Manusia itu egois bgt...

Dan sangat munafik klo ada org bil, dlu pas PDKT, pacaran muji" pas putus aja... Setiap org pasti ada reason sendiri...

Sekali lagi gw nyadar, klo gw bener" jahat, oke klo org bil gw cmn mainin hati org, karna gw bner" nga sakit ati, dan bahkan gw seneng abis mutusin tuh babi..

Najis, labil bgt gw... Inti na gw pas pacaran nga ngerasa klop ma dy... Bkn pilihan tetap... Btw si babi bner" kurang ajar.. Masa nomor gw sembarangan d kasi ke org' amit.. Dasar KAMPUNGAN !!!!

Oke gw aku'in gw cewek perfectionist dalam hal memilih pacar/dll... Gw peduli org mw ngo apa, gw emank egois... Tapi terima apa nga ini kriteria gw :

1. super bae, super pengertian
2. bsa ngikutin mood n perasaan gw
3. Pinter
4. Ganteng
5. Nga KAMPUNGAN
6. Nga ALAY
7. No Smoke
8. No Drink
9. No DRUG
10.Bkn anak warnet
11.Rajin
12. Mau kerja keras
13. Mandiri
14. Stylish
15. Nga egois
16. Nga lebai
17. Nga over protective
18. Nga tempramental
19. Ber-KHARISMA
20. Bisa ngikutin kemauan gw
21. Easy going
22. Nga ngatur" idup gw
23. Nga comment tntang aktivitas gw
24. Rela gw kacangin, gw jauhin, karna gw byasa awal" risih
25. Rela ngejar gw sampe kapan pun
26. Rela nunggu'in gw sampe gw siap pacaran
27. Nga cemburuan
28. Nga jorok
29. Nga bokep
30. Beragama
31. Menghormati cewe
32. Nga possessive
33. Nga kuno
34. Nga lebih muda dri gw
35. Nga terlalu tua
36. Nga terlalu cuek
37. Jangan terlalu romantis
38. Nga ke geer'an
39. Nga sotoy n kepo
40. Bertanggung jawab, n berani kecewa
41. Rela backstreet (gw nga ska masalah cinta terlalu di umbar)
42. Nga mw long distance
43. Percaya ma gw
44. Nga neko"
45. Berwibawa
46. Nga ska gaya"an, sok jagoan
47. Nga ngebut"an
48. Nga suka bohong
49. Serius sama apa yg lg d jalan'in
50. Bisa terima 50 kriteria cowo gw..


Panjang bgt yah buset.. 50.. Bodo amat ah.. Yang penting klo ska jalan'in.. Klo nga ska.. Ya udah... Klo emnk jodoh nga kemana, uda d atur.. Nunggu aja.. Nga usah ngekar-ngejar.. Cape... Ganggu liburan aja...

emank nama na manusia nga pernah puas !

Dlu brapa thn yg lalu, klo doa, pasti minta, dpt cowo, stdk" na ada yg suka... Muluk" bgt... Hahah tkt nga laku.. Astaga na masi polos bgt jalan pikiran gw... Pacaran emnk na enk kli yah... Skarang.. Ke banyakan yg suka... Malah bikin gw pusing.. Risih... Mampus nga tuh5-6 org'an suka ma gw.. "Kyk na" bkn ke geer'an... Mala akhir na bikin pusing... Yg 1 masi kekecilan, yg 1 sensitif bgt, yg 1 kyk anak alay, yg satu, amit" denger nama na jg... Dll.. Pusing gila.. Takut bkin org sakit ati... Kan kasian... Oke skatang gw klo bisa ngulang waktu, gw bakal mikir" mw doa kyk gitu... LOL #cacadngaadaobat




Ckckckckckck manusia nga ada puas na emank... Sekedar sharing...

Btw, follower gw cmn 9... Gw kira nga ada yg baca... Tp ternyata aja jg loh... Shock stengah mampus gw... Hahahah lebay... Dah dlu yah... Mati lampu nih.. Gelap --"

today sucks ! frustating !

Dear Blogger,

Hhmmmmm.... Where should i begin ??? Kemarin malem, gw kebablasan nonton tv sampe jam 11 mlm... Oke emnk gw aku'in... Gw bkan tipe yang ska bergadang.. Gw bahkan kadang jam 8-9 uda tidur... Beauty sleep is important :p, kebo... Nga tau kena angin apa, gw nntn chef master indonesia yang full of drama nga jelas... (Still can believe it), trus big brother indonesia (What the hell happening to me, indovision uda nga ada, dvd uda nntn smua) trus gw nntn BOLA !!!!!!!!! OMG, secara gitu, gw olahraga aja kagak pernah... Boro" suru nntn bola, yang menurut gw cmn nntn'in sepetak lapangan hijau dengan semut" nga jelas selama 90 menit... Oke gw aku'in seru jg... MU menang liga yang bahkan gw uda lupa nama na... Padahal seri, trus liga na belum slesai, tapi mreka uda menang... Ane --"n gw nga ngerti ma skali... Hahahah first rule i don't do sport, second rule, i hate those sweat... Trus nonton PETIR yang bener" full of drama abis... Tp gw ska nntn, bgs, seru, gregetan sendiri... Hahahahaha LOL, gw mlai kampungan :p. Trus gw jg ke trap dgn dancing with celebrity..m stalh gw pikir" film indo nga jelek" bgt.... Hahahahaha.


Btw, means by the way... Gw kan harus na nga ngo'in kemaren mlm. Gara" smlm gw bergadang gw telat bgn bwt tgs pagi.. Omg... Buru" bgt... Sepanjang misa gw nguap mulu... Astaga naga raya! Nga ada obat... Trus bis itu ngumpul... Mls bgt hrs dketl sama ****. Risih boooooooooooo... Nga biasa, n much worse lg ada si ***** . Amit" amit" najis jijik klo mikir dy,amit" amit" euw euw jauh" dari pikiran gw. Trus ada rapat, sebelum bahas acara, si ** *** n si ** *** kyk ngo" gj gitu.. Astaga naga... Penting nga sich.m. Oke lah pelajaran skull mank nga sepenuhnya guna, tp jaman skarang ma dlu kan beda... Skarang masi bisa blajar knp nga... Mw kapan lg coba... We're young, still new and fresh. Nah bis itu nga kunjung slesai penderita'an gw.. Pulang dong, trus makan siang deh... Nyokap mala khotbah nga jelas... Mara" sendiri, kamu lauk banyak, org belum tentu bisa makan, terlalu manja, dkit" mba, dikit" mba... Mam dlu boro" mba, rawat dri sendiri, nyapu ngepel..yg aneh adalah gw padahal nga ngapa"in.... Aneh kan... Sering bgt tuh... Beh... Rese na... Panas ampe kuping. Trus uda kan gw nntn blad, dy mara" suru gw buru" benerin dvd portable.. Dlu gw nntn nga pernah kluar kamar dy marah... Skarang, gw nntn d kamar dy gara" dvd portable na rusak, dy suru cpt" bner'in.. Serbah salah.

Trus lg nntn, nyokap ganggu, dy minta tolong d make up in... Pertama gw make up cmn liat" org doank, kedua emnk gw nga bsa make up... Lgan lg nntnn wajar lah klo gw make up in na jelek... Dy mala marah"... Sebel na minta ampun astaga.... Rese rese rese... Dasar emak centil... Dy emosional gara" bokap gw nga nyampe" rumah... Mala gw kena imbas na.. Sial...

Trus uda tuh dy pergi dah tuh, gw masi nntn blad, ampe gw laper, gw turun. Turs bis mkn.m gw d ajarin maths ma koko ♥, bsk mw ulangan... Maths sucks... Konsep na gampang, begitu ketemu soal... Tetep aja gw kagak bsa... Lg blajar, bonyok pulang.. Beh nyokap mlai rese ganggu'in aja terusbawa" buah, comment, ribet lah jd na...


Nga tw knapa hri ni gw STRESS bgt, kuping panas, ati nga enak... Frustating bgt rasa na kadang gw pikir pingin commit suicide...(<- ngo doank, mana mungkin gw commit suicide... Hahaha). Udah ah uda kepnajangan kyk na nih...

i feel like a BITCH !!!

dear blogger !

what a really shocking title....
well, i do fill like a BITCH, is not that I'm "BITCH".
i feel sucks...
i'm a total LOSER !
gw selalu merasa diri gw yang paling hebat, and to be honest, i love all the attention that people give me..., i love when people love me the most.
and to be a total bad ass hole, i do talk behind my friends back....
gimana rasa nya klo lu minder, tmn" lu keren n supaya fit in, gw suka ngadu domba.....
i'm not trying to be a jerk...
but i just don't wanna be left behind....
i'm scared that people will go and talk behind my back....
i sometimes even lie to be cool infront of my friends to be truth it's to cover my own feelings....
GOD NO !!!! i totally hate my self right now....
i do feel like a BITCH....
what should i do...
at some point of time, i always think that i'm freaking great, beautifull, adorable and even talented.... people are jealous with me....
BUT, i'm actually the one that are jealous.....
i can't always be so good, i get jealous with my friend, and even with my own brother.
i do sometimes try to behave like super fabulous..., in the end i realized that i'm suck....
i just scared that people will leave me....

i try to be brave and honest.. i don't want people to underestimate me again...
so for those people who read this, don't be angry or leave me... i'm just trying to be honest everybody else, and more important thing is to be honest with my self, my thought and mind could be wrong... and i'm trying to fixed it....