life is confusing !

Dear blogger,

Huh... Why life could be so complicated, why is it so hard to understand ??? Kenapa semua yang kita mau nga selalu tercapai ??? It's freaking me out .... Sometimes i even ask to my self, why do i even born ??? I think my parents would be happy without me... Or what wil happen if i die, will i go to heaven ? Or where does i go... Kadang gw malah mikir, setiap org punya pikiran yang berbeda", knp kita nga bisa tau perasaan dan pikiran org lain ?? Pernah kepikiran gmn kita klo jadi orang lain ?? Atau gimana klo kita nga pernah lahir ke dunia ??

It's not that i don't trust God, but sometimes, i kinda think why he created the world ?? Or it's just a hoax ??? Everything seems mixed up... It's weird.. Because based on science, earth is a small piece of meteor from the sun... Jadi ??? Yang mana yg bener ??? Bingung kan ??? Trus, kata na Tuhan itu 1, tapi kenapa agama d dunia banyak ??? Kenapa waktu nga bisa mundur ???

Huh... I'm confused.. Why people has mind ? Why they talk ? Why they move ?? Why do i even be confused ??? Why people can fall in love ??? What the hell love is ??? Why do this question come into my mind ?? Why do people talk in many language ??? Weird huh?

Do you ever look yourself infront of a mirror ?? I do, sometimes i think i'm so beautiful, i'm talented, and i'm freaking perfect, but at other time, i think the opposite, i'm the worst of the worst !!! I think everything was wrong... All of my body parts and everything...
Sometimes i have a very stupid wish...

I wish that times move faster, but sometimes i wish time move slower or even stop.. The think is , i'm scared, i'm scared to move on... I'm scared to face my future, i wanna be a child everyday... Just playing and fooling around... Why do i grow bigger ?? I'm scared to go to college, i'm scared to have a job ?? What happen if i'm failed ??? What happens if i never get a job ???

I'm scared, i'm scared to lost my family, to lost my parents... What happen if they die ?? Who will protect me ??? Who will love me ??? Who will told me everything i didn't know ???

Why sometimes i hate people when i need them the most.. Why do i even hate others ?? We're all humans, we made mistake ?? So ?? COMPLICATED !!! When the world will end ?? what i gonna do ??? Can i ran away from it ??? Huh... Membingungkan skali... Knp gw kadang bisa lupa kan hal" yang uda gw alami... ??? Knp org menciptakan sesuatu ??? Semua na membingungkan ???

But from all, love is the most complicated things !! Why we fall in love ?? To whom ?? When will it came ?? How does it really fell ??? Aaaaa... I think i'm crazy.... Why every thing is so complicated and weird ??? But why do i still wanna life ???